I should write more often.

So here I am, enjoying my third fall here in Portland and trying to prepare the endurance necessary to survive another dark, drizzly winter.

Our summer was unreasonably short this year. We had on and off rain and cool temps well into June, when it would normally be arid and warm. Luckily, we've been having a bit of an Indian Summer. The air is crisp, cool, and we've had plenty of sunshine for September and October. But soon, the inevitable will set in and it will be time to hunker down, bundle up, and waterproof your shoes; Put away the bike and ride the bus, shoulder to shoulder with other downtrodden commuters.

I think I'm actually looking forward to it this year. I started early in my preparations. I've got my room fully set up for recording in every fashion...guitar, piano, vocals, whatever I feel like doing on any given day. In just two weeks I've managed to put together three new songs instrumentally and get vocals started on two others. When it's cold and rainy, and there's not much else to do, I'm at my peak of productivity.

That period after my first finished album was hard. I wasn't sure what to do with myself in my spare time and decided to start working towards the next almost immediately, but I wasn't in the mood and my first few songs came over the span of many months. Even since the beginning of this project, my sound has evolved quite a bit, matured and expanded. I've become a better piano player, albeit not exactly in the conventional sense. A real pianist would laugh if they saw me in action, but it's results that matter, no?

Comparing Recession, Depression, Progression to the tentatively named Full Moon Mourning is definitely apples to oranges, but Full Moon is clearly more refined, with tighter vocal harmonies and more artistic nuance and special effects. I've finally become excited about this record, now that I can hear it all put together and get a feel for the piece as a whole. I really think that this one is going to get legitimately printed and be available for sale. The question is, will I be sitting on a fat stack of CD's and lose all of my money or will people actually buy it? I guess it really doesn't matter very much. I need to get this out there for reals, no matter if I lose some money on the deal.

So, all in all, I'm feeling pretty up at a time of year that I usually feel quite down. We'll see how I feel after a few months of cold rain, but even depression can be channeled into good, and music is the perfect medium.

Sincerely,

Schmo

I had forgotten about this

My newest roommate has spurred me on to do a little bit of blogging. I'm not sure whether or not I'll follow through with it. It wasn't that long ago that I told myself I'd start utilizing my livejournal, which I really haven't. It's not as if anybody reads this, which is the whole point of a blog, is it not? At the same time, it's a nice feeling to know you have a little bit of privacy in these matters, mostly because nobody cares.

So, how is life? you ask.

Life is bad and life is good...but it's been mostly bad these last few months. I won't get into details, but my entire life was, once again, thrust into the air and left to fall in random sequence. It seems I can't assemble any sort of regularity, a safety net if you will. There's no way anybody could keep up with the changes. Hell, I sometimes forget who I am and how I got here.

I'm living in my fifth house in less than two years. Every person I knew before is completely out of my life...Courtney, Wally, Eric...all enemies. It's hard to say whether this is all my fault. I like to think that it's not, but how could it not be? I had to have done something wrong in all of this.

I still work at Plaid, though, only two days a week. I'm downtown three days a week on the PSU campus. It's a glorious, yet sometimes boring, job as a cashier at the new Greenline Market. Beautiful women stroll past in spandex; jogging, biking, buying water as I gaze helplessly into their eyes. It's unbearable. I think I've been hit on a few times, but it's hard to tell...I'm bad with signals.

I have recorded a full length album. It's taken me six months of dedicated work, but it's more than I could have ever hoped for in both content and quality. I'm currently finishing up the mixing process and will hopefully find a record label to help me with mastering and printing costs. If not, well, I'll dig myself a little deeper in debt. What's another $1000? This album is almost all I live for these days. The one bright, shiny spot in my life. It's worth the debt.

I call it "Recession, Depression, Progression".

And with that, I bid you goodnight.

Schmo

Things are Swell

I can't say that life hasn't been tough and is testing me on a daily basis, but I've won out more often than not. I'm feeling a bit like a free spirit, as queer as that sounds. I still work for Plaid Pantry, but no longer at the same location, but many places at any given time...whenever somebody is sick or gets fired. Sometimes I have lots of days off in a row and the sun likes to shine, regardless of the "unhappiest city in the country" articles you've been reading. Lots of guitar has been played and songs have been written, mostly and partially at times, with vocals speckled here and there in a pretty damn satisfying manner if I do say so myself.

I'm hitting my stride as a singer songwriter, without the luxury of overdubbing, or others to carry a portion of the burden. I miss the companionship and the good will felt by all when a group nails a song as a whole, but I love this freedom. My musical mind doesn't work like most others and I have complete control over this process for the first time in over five years...when I was still in highschool, like that even counts. The thought of getting up there to sing these deepest of songs in front of perfect strangers, with no friendships to soften the blow of criticism. I can't help but imagine myself sweating up there, fucking up songs left and right, or perhaps even frozen solid. But then again, this is what I do...I'm good at this. I know what it's like to connect with an audience and I've grown over many years of live performance.

I can do this...I can, and I have to.

It is written.

Anybody who really knows me can attest to that.

I was born to create in one way or another

...and this is what makes me whole and satisfied.

Goodness Gracious

Today, I got a message on MySpace from this girl that I had met at work the other day.  It was four AM and I had no customers so we had a good chat.  She owns a tattoo shop and I talked about how I had wanted to get into tattooing at one point and I was really into drawing for a while.  

"Check this out, after we talked the other night at Plaid, I got to thinkin.  I'm looking for another front person at my tattoo studio, and I got a really good feeling from you as a person.  So if it's something that sounds interesting to you, give me a call and I'll break it down for you.  Cheers, Marcii"

It's almost unreal.  If that works out I will most likely be one hell of a happy man.  No more Plaid Pantry? Jesus, I can't even imagine it!  Plus, it's a perfect opportunity for friend making...about time.

Time for a Buzzsaw Brown Ale, mmm.

Schmo

Only Starting

I don't have much to say at the moment.  I just woke up from a Saturday night of drunken people watching, and just a little bit of drunken people talking.  I probably shouldn't have followed Brian the Michigan Man when he made the nervous twitch that said "let's step outside for a moment".  It's amazing how quickly you can forget that you just took a fat rip off of a chillum, sittin in the bar with Wally thinking "Jesus Christ, why do I feel so damn ridiculous all of a sudden?".  I don't take many cab rides, and attempted small talk for a moment or two, but was soon content with staring out the window being glad that I was not walking or waiting for a bus for once.

And now, it's time to put on some clothes, cook up some eggs and veggies, and head on down to the coffee shop to, once again, accomplish just about nothin.

Thank you Christi for showing me your blog, I think I like this site.

Noah